Christmas is my favorite time of year.

Saturday, December 23, 2000

Christmas is my favorite time of year. There’s food and presents ,and food and trimming the tree, and food and Midnight Mass, and food and Christmas shows.

And food.

But I also enjoy Christmas carols. Yeah, I like the traditional carols, but I also like the new ones that come out each year.

Okay, okay. They’re Christmas carols that I write each year. I do like them, but no one else ever wants to walk the neighborhoods while singing my songs.

But with this year’s new batch of songs, I’m hoping all that will change. Here are some of my newest compositions.

(Who’s Lennon and McCarty?)

 

Silent Knight

(Tune of Silent Night)

Silent Knight, pink slipped Knight

It’s all done, turn out the lights

Won three national titles for us

We overlooked when you hit and you cussed

You tried to teach some respect

Now our Hoosier program’s a wreck.

 

Deck The Wallet

(Tune of "Deck the Halls")

Deck the wallet with boughs of money.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

A-Rod found an owner who’s a dummy.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Ticket prices are certain to gouge us.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

There’s sure to be another lockout.

Fa la la la la, la la la la.

 

Hark! That Last Tackle Did Sting

(Tune of "Hark! The Herald Angles Sing")

Hark! That Last Tackle Did Sting.

Aikman’s bell again will ring.

His knockouts are up to nine,

Makes Dick Cheney seem just fine.

Tryin’ to pass he just gets rocked.

All he gets are "lookout" blocks.

Hark! That Last Tackle Did Sting, looks like the Fat Lady’s about to sing.

 

The First Big Change

(Tune of "The First Noel")

The first big change, that the Reds GM deemed

Was replacing the man who was in charge of the team.

In the field his guys didn’t play up to snuff.

So out went McKeon when Larkin said "That’s enough."

Bob Boone, Bob Boone, Bob Boone, Bob Boone.

Backstabbed his way to the Reds locker room.

Joy To Mike Brown

(Tune of "Joy to the World)

Joy to Mike Brown, the draft has come

It’s time to pick our man.

No matter who we take

It’s sure to be a mistake.

And down and down we go,

And with him goes LeBeau,

And down in the standings we’re sure to go.

O Come All Ye QBs

(Tune of "O Come Alll Ye Faithful")

Oh come all ye QBs

Just be sure you’re healthy.

Oh come all ye QBs, to the Browns training camp.

Come with endurance,

But don’t forget your insurance.

O Come we’re sure to use you

O Come we’re sure to bruise you

O Come join our QB chart, there must be 10 or more.

 

Merry Christmas!

Jim Walker is sports editor of The Ironton Tribune.