Elon Musk has joyously held up his chainsaw in front of Republican extremists, smiled broadly from ear to ear, and championed his personal pet DOGE team of kids and nerds as they have ravaged the federal government with near impunity.

He is a happy guy.

And why shouldn’t he be happy? Under the direction and with the full support of President Donald Trump, Chainsaw is cutting into government waste, greed, abuse and even “criminal” government enterprises to feed the world’s poorest people.

And is there not a certain joy we all should appreciate as the world’s richest man helps us all by firing those evil federal employees who are loafing on the job so much that when we fire them without cause or notice, we can do so entirely free of human compassion? After all, as Elon certainly knows, these newly unemployed can simply draw down on their personal wealth as he would.

Sure, the 42 million Americans, mostly kids and disabled folks, who receive food from the SNAP program can tighten their belts and visit the food banks. 

Oh, wait. The food banks’ funding has been cut by the guy who never has a hungry day, so that won’t work. 

There is always dumpster diving, at least in those cities that have not outlawed being poor and living on the streets.

And what is wrong about the guy with billions in government contracts himself cutting programs like SNAP that allow our farmers to benefit from feeding other Americans? And why should Chainsaw Musk feel the least guilty about the Trump administration refusing to honor contracts with farmers for utilizing renewable energy after the farmers have spent the money the government promised them? His contracts are not just secure; they are expanding with a new FAA/Starlink contract worth a couple of billion, looking a lot like an obvious conflict of interest.

Chainsaw is, above all else, a patriotic American serving all of us with the highest calling for the good of every single American, regardless of wealth or status. That his good work is designed to reduce or eliminate programs Americans need and benefit from, like Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security, is but a testament to his dedication to that pre-eminent goal of reducing taxes on the wealthiest families while creating $5 trillion in new debt over the next decade.

Chainsaw is also doing all of this at great personal sacrifice. While he dedicates himself to increasing his personal wealth at your expense, some louts are protesting Tesla, Chainsaw’s auto company. Tesla sales are steeply falling across the globe, and even a few firebombs have been aimed at Tesla cars in dealerships. Tesla owners are reporting people criticizing their choice in car ownership. Fortunately, for all of us, Chainsaw understands that these incidents are meaningless as he moves forward with the ultimate destruction of federal programs that serve all Americans.

It is good to know that Chainsaw retains the total support of elected Republicans, even as they appear in town halls before their constituents, many of whom seem outraged by Chainsaw’s actions. 

But those Republicans know that their loyalty must come first, as Wyoming’s U.S. Rep. Harriet Hagerman defended Chainsaw before her booing citizens just this week. Or as Ohio’s Rep. Michael Rulli discovered, as dozens of his voters protested his refusal to answer his phone, meet with them or hold a town hall.

Yes, MAGA loyalty is demanded, even when that loyalty will result in harming the very MAGA voters Republicans seek to mollify.

 It is an odd moment in America when many average Americans side with the ultra-wealthy against their own needs and expectations.

Jim Crawford is a retired educator and political enthusiast living here in the Tri-State.