Welp, I is back fer yet another season of football pickins. Yeah, sorry ‘bout that.
Ennywhooo, seems there’s been some things happenin’ whilst I been gone so I thunk I’d touch on a few items of interest.
I put an ice cube on the hot asphalt. I wanted to see which one disappeared first: the ice cube or Josh Gordon’s season.
I read where Nationals’ reliever Ryan Madson said he didn’t try to hit Joey Votto and he didn’t want to hurt him. After watchin’ the replay, I believe Madson. I also believes in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and whatever Kim Jong Un promises.
As sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, Vontaz Burfict will be suspended to start the NFL season.
Welp, let’s git this here season started. I hates the first week or two ‘cause ya really doesn’t know who kin do what.
Ironton at Wheelersburg: Ironton has some good players back. Wheelersburg lost a bunch but still has a bunch. Flip a coin. Ironton 28, Wheelersburg 21.
Coal Grove at River Valley: The Hornets only lost one regular season game last year. They may lose one or even more this year, but it won’t be this week. Coal Grove 42, River Valley 8.
Minford at Rock Hill: The “T” in T-formation stands for touchdowns. Rock Hill 35, Minford 12.
Chesapeake at Oak Hill: The winner of this game usually has a good season. Good news fer the Panthers. Chesapeake 28, Oak Hill 8.
Fairland at Tolsia: The Dragons is arm and dangerous. The arm belongs to Joel Lambiotte and he is dangerous, folks. Fairland 30, Tolsia 14.
Portsmouth West at South Point: West goes South to face the new coach from the East. I sees the score goin’ north. Portsmouth West 35, South Point 14.
South Gallia at Symmes Valley: The Vikings is awful young so be patient. Baby steps. Symmes Valley 14, South Gallia 12.
Cincinnati Dohn at Green: The Bobcats will rise at dawn and rise over Dohn. Green 24, Cincinnati Dohn 12.
OTHERS: Portsmouth over Lucasville Valley; Gallipolis over Meigs; Waverly over Piketon; Waterford over Sciotoville East; Racine Southern over Portsmouth Notre Dame; Southeastern over Northwest; Linsly over Beaver Eastern; Ashland over Raceland; Greenup County over Russell.
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Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports.