Well, some of you older fans know all about the Beatles, considered the greatest musical group of all-time.

Some younger folks are starting to discover them as well and for good reason. They’re really, really good.

Anyhow, I was reading about this Vontaze Burfict of the Cincinnati Bengals who decided to twist some ankles of the Carolina Panthers last week and it had them madder than a skunk trapped in a perfume factory.

Thinking the way I do, I decided to put the Beatles and Burfict together and see what I’d get and it hit me: Vontaze Burfict sings “Twist and Shout.”

The song went to No. 1 in 1964 — The Beatles held the top five spots on the charts at the time— and it re-charted at No. 23 in 1986 after being part of the parade scene in the movie Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Now, the music might be the same but the lyrics have been changed to protect the innocent and any copyright infringement. Sing along if youa like.

Chorus: Well shake it up Burfict (shake it up Burfict)

Twist till they shout (twist till they shout)

C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon now Burfict (c’mon Burfict)

Let them waller about (waller about)

 

Well, Burfict took you out (took you on out)

You hurt them oh so good (hurt so good)

Cam and Olsen rolled about (they rolled about)

Just like you knew they would (like you knew they would)

(Repeat Chorus)

 

You’ve been a dirty little player (dirty little player)

Since your college days (since your college days)

If you twist a little harder now (twist a little harder)

The league is gonna make you pay (gonna make you pay)

Ooooh! (Bridge)

Ahhh ahhh ahhh ahh woah yeah…(Repeat chorus)

You’ve been a dirty little player (dirty little player)

Lots of penalty flags (penalty flags)

And those personal fouls (personal fouls)

Caused your draft stock to sag (draft stock to sag)

Well, shake it, shake it, shake it Burfict (shake it up Burfict)

Well, shake it, shake it, shake it Burfict (shake it up Burfict)

Well, shake it, shake it, shake it Burfict (shake it up Burfict)

Ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh…ah!

Do you think it will chart?

Ennywho, last week I wuz muh best week at 15-2 to make it 90-37 fer the season. Here’s week eight.

Meigs at Ironton: Now, is Meigs that daughter on Family Guy? Ironton 35, Meigs 28.

Coal Grove at Chesapeake: This here is gonna be a showdown, but I is afraid the Hornets is gonna just make this their show. Coal Grove 28, Chesapeake 20.

Fairland at Rock Hill: The Dragons is still lookin’ fer a win and the Redmen seem to be the first one. Or are they? Upset special. Rock Hill 19, Fairland 18.

Lucasville Valley at South Point: Wouldn’t ya know that Valley got upset last week and they’ll be lookin’ to take it out on the Pointers. Lucasville Valley 28, South Point 12.

Oak Hill at Symmes Valley: This one may end up bein’ an upset special with the way the Vikings’ play defense. Oak Hill 15, Symmes Valley 12.

Green at Ports. Notre Dame: Someone gits an SOC win. Notre Dame 30, Green 24.

OTHERS: Wheelersburg over Minford; Northwest over Sciotoville East; Gallipolis over Vincent Warren; Jackson over Portsmouth; Portsmouth West over Waverly; Cincinnati La Salle over St. Charles; Amanda Clearcreek over Bloom-Carroll; Raceland over Fairview; Russell over Lewis County; Ashland over Greenup County.

 

Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports.