There are a lot of traditions about Christmas that we celebrate, and yet we often don’t know why.

Take for instance, we decorated Christmas trees with round bulbs. That is because they used to decorate trees with apples or oranges, so when they made bulbs they made them large and round like the fruit.

St. Francis of Assisi created the first live nativity to explain Christmas to the people.

Christmas trees were originally hung upside down from the ceiling to signify Christianity. Many early Christians such as St. Peter were hung upside down.

Yes, Christmas is a Christian holiday, so if you are politically correct, here’s a giant lump of….coal for you. And the word holiday comes from the words “holy day.”

Another tradition that has never been understood is the singing of sports Christmas carols that show up in The Ironton Tribune sports’ page each year.

What makes it more amazing is that they are written by someone who doesn’t smoke, drink or do drugs, so he has no excuse for what he says.

Oh well, let the tradition continue. I’ll contact Father Huffman about my confession at a later date.

Lance Armstrong

(Tune: Jingle Bells)

Dashing through the streets

On a Livestrong 10-speed bike

Over the hills we go

Up and down the pikes.

Winning seven times

This race called Tour de France

But now they stripped him of his crowns

Cause no one has a chance.

 

Oh, Lance Armstrong, Lance Armstrong

Officials said you cheat

Your teammates said you taught them

How to clean the doping sheet

Lance Armstrong, Lance Armstrong

They’ll hound you till your dead

They even got Sheryl Crow

To sing to all the Feds

 

Deck the Ball

(Tune: Deck the Halls)

Melky decked the ball real hard

Fa la la la la la la la la

Sometimes it would leave the yard

Fa la la la la la la la la

His av’rage showed the league’s best stats

Fa la la la la la la la la

Why so good yet look so fat?

Fa la la la la la la la la

 

He might just win the batting crown

Fa la la la la la la la la

Till one day some drugs were found

Fa la la la la la la la la

He was banned for HGH

Fa la la la la la la la la

And his web site was a fake

Fa la la la la la la la la

 

Jolly The Saints’ Bounty

(Tune: Jolly Old Saint Nicholas)

Jolly the Saints’ Bounty

Make your list today

At number one is Brett Favre

When he was with Green Bay.

The playoff games are coming

Bounty fees will rise

Williams whispers to his ‘D’

Take dead or alive.

 

Vilva offered 10 grand

For a knockout blow

Warner went off the field

Questions start to grow

Goodell sat the coaches out

When he got his facts

His decision sounded firm

Till lawyers fired back.

 

O Tannenbaum

(Tune: O Christmas Tree)

O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum

Your job appears on the line.

O Rex Ryan, O Rex Ryan

You won’t be too much far behind.

 

You paid Sanchez lots of dough

Then traded to get Tim Tebow.

Jets’ fans are almost out of joy

You plan to start Greg McIlroy

 

Merry Christmas!

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Jim Walker is sports editor of The Ironton Tribune.