Welp, the NFL season is gittin’ started up this week.
One of the TV network’s pregame show was going to focus on three construction workers who were NFL fans. One liked the Steelers, one liked the Ravens and the other liked the Cowboys.
They wuz sittin’ at the top of a skyscraper they wuz building and it was lunch time. The Steelers fan opened his lunch box and said, “Tuna again. I swear, it I gits tuna again tomorrow, I’ll jump off this building.”
The Ravens’ fan opened his lunch box and said, “WHAT! Ham and cheese again. If I gits ham and cheese again tomorrow, I’ll jump off this building.”
The Cowboys fans opened his lunch box and said, “Oh no! I got egg salad again. If I gits egg salad again tomorrow, I’m jumpin’ off this building.”
The next day at lunch time the Steelers fan opened his lunch box and there was a tuna sandwich, so he said, “That’s it!” and jump off the building.
The Ravens fan opened his lunch box to find ham and cheese. “I can’t stand it!” and he jumped to his death.
The Cowboys fans found egg salad in his lunch and he, too, yelled, “Not again!” and jumped.
They had a funeral a couple of days later and the wives were comforting each other. The Steelers’ fan’s wife said, “If I had known he was that tired of tuna, I’d have fixed something else.”
The Ravens’ fan’s wife said, “I thought he liked ham and cheese. If I had known he was upset, I’d have fix something else.”
And the Cowboys’ fan’s wife said, “I don’t understand it. He always packed his own lunch.”
Go team.
Ennywho, last week I wuz 15-3. On to week two.
Russell at Ironton: This one may come down to Avery Book’s left foot. Ironton 17, Russell 15.
Lucasville Valley at Coal Grove: This could be a defensive battle. Coal Grove 14, Valley 12.
Meigs at Rock Hill: The strength of the Redmen was in the backfield, but they no longer have Zac Adkins and T.J. McGinnis due to injuries. Gonna be a battle. Rock Hill 18, Meigs 12.
Minford at Chesapeake: Two of the top teams in each of their respective leagues meet. Chesapeake 28, Minford 26.
Fairland at Oak Hill: The Dragons find out it’s tough to play up on the Hill. Oak Hill 22, Fairland 21.
South Point at Miami Valley Christian: It’s a long ride there, but it won’t be so bad coming home. South Point 24, Miami Valley 20.
Fairfield Christian at Symmes Valley: You know, they threw the Christians to the lions. Wonder what happens when you throw them to the Vikings? Symmes Valley 26, Fairfield 18.
Cincinnati College Prep at Green: I don’t know about playing a college prep team. Green 14, College Prep 12.
OTHERS: Gallipolis over River Valley; Portsmouth over Portsmouth West; Portsmouth Notre Dame over Urban Scholars; Ashland over George Washington; Huntington Ross over Beaver Eastern; Greenfield McClain over Northwest; Northwest over McClain; Waverly over Zane Trace; Bishop Hartley over Wheelersburg.
Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports.