Goober goes back to school to sharpen his prognostication skills

Published 12:52 am Friday, November 1, 2019

Welp, I decided to take a special class about the Civil War at Ohio University Southern because the legendary Bob Leith wuz comin’ out of retirement fer one semester.
To start the class, Mr. Leith wanted to make sure everyone knew where certain cities were in order to understand the battles due to their geographical location.
Mr. Leith asked: Does anyone know where Gettysburg is?
A student raised their hand and said, “In Pennsylvania along the border near Maryland.”
Mr. Leith: That’s correct. Now, does anyone know where Appomattox is?
Another student raised their hand: In Virginia, southeast of Lynchburg.
Mr. Leith: That’s right. Now most of you should know this one. Where is Lexington?
A third student said: In Kentucky, about two hours south of Ironton.
Mr. Leith: Good. We seem to know our geography. And finally, where is Cincinnati?
Welp, I knew this one so I raised muh hand.
Mr. Leith: Well, Gridiron Goober. I’m glad you’re part of the discussion. Where is Cincinnati?
Me: Right now it’s in last place.
Fer the life of me, I don’t know why Mr. Leith said I wuz wrong. Just check the standings.
Ennywho, last week I bounced back and went 10-2 and the season mark is now 93-29. I is tryin’ fer a perfect final week.
Portsmouth at Ironton: Talyn Parker, meet the Ironton defense. Not gonna be a pleasant meetin’. Ironton 28, Portsmouth 14.
Coal Grove at Rock Hill: Them thar Hornets got some of that injury disease Rock Hill has had this season. Rock Hill 27, Coal Grove 19.
Chesapeake at Fairland: If ya asked home much these teams don’t like each other on a scale of 1-to-10, it would probably register somewhere around 25. Chesapeake 36, Fairland 32.
Gallipolis at South Point: The Blue Devils is favored but the Pointers are better’n last season so it might be close. Gallipolis 26, South Point 14.
Symmes Valley at Northwest: This is gonna be a titanic struggle but I sees which team’s SOC title hopes sinks. Symmes Valley 20, Northwest 18.
Beaver Eastern at Green: Eastern likes to wing it and the Bobcats like to bring it. If Green is healthy, this one goes to…Green 16, Eastern 14.
OTHERS: Portsmouth Notre Dame over Sciotoville East; Minford over Lucasville Valley; Wheelersburg over Portsmouth West; Waverly over Oak Hill; Spring Valley over Ashland; Russell over West Carter.
Gridiron Goober is a self-proclaimed high school football expert who shares his vast knowledge and picks each week, all while offering a humorous take on the world of sports.

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