If you're going to make a decision, talk with the

experts before taking any kind of action.

Too bad Rafael Palmeiro didn't think to check with the experience experts before dragging Miguel Tejada into his steroid mess.

Palmeiro said he received vitamin B-12 from Tejada according to a person familiar with Palmeiro's unsuccessful grievance hearing. Palmeiro cited the vitamin he received from his Baltimore Orioles

teammate as possibly causing the positive test for steroid use that led to the first baseman's suspension.

Yeah.

Well, Rafael did contact a couple of experts after the fact in hopes of clearing his name and maybe getting a Hall of Fame vote in the future.

Here's a taped conversion from a recorder I hid in Palmeiro's drug bag, er, suitcase.

Palmeiro: Guys, thanks for coming. I just don't know what to do. I feel like my name and career are ruined.

Kobe: Man, why didn't you just bring up somebody else's name. Why didn't you tell them you should have used someone else's urine sample like Shaq does.

Palmeiro: I tried to say Tejada gave me some vitamin B-12 and that caused the positive test.

Balco Barry: You should have known that wasn't going to work. You can't snitch on teammates until after you retire. Then you write a book and say a bunch of stuff so you can make money.

Palmeiro: Well, what do you suggest?

Balco Barry: Just look around the world. Tell them to focus on Hurricane Katrina or world hunger or health insurance or trying feed your family while taking care of your mistress at the same time.

Palmeiro: Does the guilt trip theory work?

Balco Barry: I can't tell you now, but if you look on my Web site and buy some Bonds' souvenirs, I'll send you the results along with your purchase.

Kobe: Don't mess with that guilt trip thing. They just tell you that it's possible to do two things at the same time. You have to stage some kind of confession press conference and ask their forgiveness. I had my wife beside me. I let them see my tears.

Palmeiro: You mean you were so sorry for what you did that you cried?

Kobe: No, I was crying because I spent over a million bucks on a ring to make my wife happy. If she divorces me and takes half my pay, I'll have to get by on Latrell Sprewell-type money. How can you feed a family on $10 million.

Pete Rose: Guys, none of it works. They tell you to confess and they'll forgive you. If you do that, I'll bet they still crucify you. Any takers?

Jim Walker is sports editor of The Ironton Tribune.